I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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