She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize