Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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