they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
