after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
