I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
you had me at cake vodka
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
