She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
