Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize