what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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