Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
