As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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