OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
