Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
