You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
