Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize