And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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