Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
