hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
