the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize