Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
