can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
