Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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