I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
