Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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