I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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