I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
