He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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