you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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