I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Houston, we have a squirter
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
