I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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