brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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