All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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