Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
This can only be settled by a dance off.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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