my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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