There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
