ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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