Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
