Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
