The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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