Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize