Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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