The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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