If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
