turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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