So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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