I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
