I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
