we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
