i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize