you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
