i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize