This girl is more easily done than said...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
