i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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