They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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