Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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