ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
