I think I died a long time ago.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
well you can't waste a boner
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
