oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We had to coat check the pizza.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
