I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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