I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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