i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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