Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize