Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
