So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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