i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
