She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
