; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize