I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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