oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
