Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
