I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
