Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
