At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize