oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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