Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
